Control Your Jealousy

By Rabiya Ehtasahm |
|5 min read

Jealousy is a negative emotion. It offers no benefits, but it has become a natural response to someone else's success for many of us. Jealousy tends to sap our energy and leads to low self-esteem. This is why you must learn how to stop being jealous and feel happy for yourself and others around you. It will lead you to a life free from emotions like envy and jealousy. Your heart and soul will be filled with happiness and you would get along with your family, friends and colleagues better.

Know Why You Are Jealous

You have to understand the underlying reasons behind your jealousy. This will help you to get rid of your negative emotions in a better manner:

  • Low self-esteem

You are not sure if you can reach the same heights as the other person, so you try to diminish the successful feats of others.

  • Past experience

Perhaps you have been cheated on before or suffered from a similar bad experience. You would not like to relive that experience.

  • Fear of losing someone

You do not wish to lose someone. Hence you become overprotective of him/her. This can be seen as jealousy by your partner.

  • Feeling sad

You are unhappy for some reason. Any good news about someone else makes you feel jealous. You do not want someone else to be happy and successful while you are feeling sad.

  • Becoming aware of your limitations

You become aware that you do not have the same physical attributes or bank balance as the other person. This reminds you of your limitations. Since you cannot do anything about it, you feel angry, helpless and eventually, jealous.

Learn How to Control Your Jealousy

It is alright if you have a pang of jealousy and you translate it into motivation for achieving more. However, if this feeling starts to control your life, you must learn how to get over jealousy. Some simple tips given below will help you to cope with this unnecessary emotion:

  • Be confident

This is the main trigger behind jealousy. Accept yourself as you are. The other person might have been better at something, but you are not doing that bad yourself. Even better, you may consider the other person's success as motivation for your improvements. If the boy next door won the championship, look at the hard work behind it. Now you can also put in the same amount of effort and aim for the trophy next year.

  • Trust yourself

There is no point in being possessive about your partner. If they leave you, that is their choice. Instead of worrying about something you do not have control over, you can control your own feelings and behavior. Give your partner the freedom he/she deserves. If you both have trust and respect for each other, you would always be together.

  • Receive help from your friends

Tell your friends that you wish to know how to stop your jealousy. Tell them what you are feeling and why. Meanwhile, listen to their criticism and accept your faults. True friends will tell you what your issue is and help you to get over your negative emotions. Effective communication is the key here.

  • Have positive thoughts

Rather than focusing on other people's achievements, look at what you have. Count your blessings, and you would know that you have a lot to be grateful for. Redirect your attention to your own life and goals. Once you change your focus, the feeling of jealousy will automatically go away.

  • Be calm

When the first pangs of jealousy hit you, remain calm. Accept your emotions. If possible, go for a walk or do meditation. Remember that such feelings will go away with time. Do not obsess over them. Just let them wash over you, leaving you unscathed.

  • Compliment others

Even if you do not want to, you should still try to go out and compliment others on their success. Make a conscious effort to be happy for them. Once you start doing that, you will begin to feel genuinely happy for their success. This will take away the feeling of jealousy from you.

  • Stop comparing

The moment you start comparing yourself with others, you will be hit by jealousy. This is because no two individuals are the same. Appreciate others without depreciating yourself. Someone else's success does not make you a failure. You are unique and special. Try to keep it that way.

  • Be in the company of happy and content people

This is really important if you want to learn how to stop being jealous. After all, the company you keep defines who you are. If you are with happy people, you will become happy too. If you spend time with discontented people who are always comparing and craving for more, you will become unsatisfied too.

To summarize

It is alright if you feel jealous as it is a natural feeling, but you can control this negative feeling in a mature manner. Learn to identify signs of jealousy, find out the underlying reasons and take reformative steps accordingly.

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